How Ya Holding Up?
What questions do we ask our friends and do we really listen to the answers?
We ask the question, but do we want to know?
Do we really mean the words we say to others? Or are we genuine or just politely making our way through life? Are we afraid something we might say or do will upset someone? Do we choose to say and do nothing to avoid that?
What exactly are we afraid of?
Do we look at friends in the eye when we toast? Are we sending kindness with our look? Are we hard or soft, closed or open?
Are we afraid of the answer, when we ask, how ya holding up? Are we wary of connection? Is it easier to keep our circle small and closed to new members? How many friends is enough?
Do we listen to our family with only part of our attention, with our device or the TV taking the rest? What if we gave 100% to a partner or child? How would they feel? What if that became a habit, fully engaging in a conversation?
The next time you talk to anyone, try something new.
- Turn and face them
- Move to their height
- Put away devices
- Quiet your thoughts so can really listen
- Listen with a compassionate, open heart
- Let them know you hear them
- Smile so they feel it
- Don’t interrupt
- Don’t change the subject to yourself
Remember the Indian proverb, there’s a reason why we have two ears and one mouth. We often use our mouth, when our ears should be in use, instead.
Sometimes being heard is the most important missing part of someone’s life.
As John Prine sings in the song “Hello In There”
You know that old trees just grow stronger
And old rivers grow wilder every day
Old people just grow lonesome
Waiting for someone to say, “Hello in there, hello”
So say hello today and mean it, and when you ask a question, listen extra carefully to the answer. You’ll set an example and the world will be a little bit better place.
